Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I ain't no mummy's boy ............

My hoooman called me a "mummy's boy" last night.  How dare she - I am a lean, mean killing machine.  If it were not for the fact that it was cold and I was huddled up under the duvet with hoooman I would have had something to say to her for uttering such a accusation.

I got my own back at two in the morning - I woke hoooman up using my teeth on her feet.  After she screamed and told me to "F**K off Frankie" I demanded food by purring very loudly in her ear.  Merlin never does this - girl cats are just so stupid.

Princess Merlin - aka Slasher
<<<<<< How could this cat possibly be related to me.  Where is the proof that we came from the same litter?  She is so stupid - even hoooman says that Merlin goes down the stairs by hurling herself off the top landing and hoping for a good decent.  Sort of like the Lemmings that hooomans say commit suicide by leaping off a cliff.  Hooomans know nothing.

I have to go and beg for another dinner - a pitiful cry and a pathetic look on my face usually works.

"Hooomans: No fur, no paws, no tail. They run away from mice. They never get enough sleep. How can you help but love such an absurd animal?" 
 Anonymous cat about hooomans

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