Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Happy Birthday to ME (and Merlin)

Today it is my our birthday - Merlin and me are six today. 


Since Merlin is a girl (but not a 'lady') I have picked a nice pink and girly picture for her.

I get called "You little B*****d" sometimes and hoooman says that we are "Bad" other times.  I admit that she might call me these nasty names more than she does Merlin - but Merlin is Miss Goody Two Paws and she is b-o-r-i-n-g.
I look too handsome to be a bad cat.

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I ain't no mummy's boy ............

My hoooman called me a "mummy's boy" last night.  How dare she - I am a lean, mean killing machine.  If it were not for the fact that it was cold and I was huddled up under the duvet with hoooman I would have had something to say to her for uttering such a accusation.

I got my own back at two in the morning - I woke hoooman up using my teeth on her feet.  After she screamed and told me to "F**K off Frankie" I demanded food by purring very loudly in her ear.  Merlin never does this - girl cats are just so stupid.

Princess Merlin - aka Slasher
<<<<<< How could this cat possibly be related to me.  Where is the proof that we came from the same litter?  She is so stupid - even hoooman says that Merlin goes down the stairs by hurling herself off the top landing and hoping for a good decent.  Sort of like the Lemmings that hooomans say commit suicide by leaping off a cliff.  Hooomans know nothing.

I have to go and beg for another dinner - a pitiful cry and a pathetic look on my face usually works.

"Hooomans: No fur, no paws, no tail. They run away from mice. They never get enough sleep. How can you help but love such an absurd animal?" 
 Anonymous cat about hooomans

Friday, June 03, 2011

Training hooomans is hard work

What is it with hooomans?  They sleep all night and move around annoying us felines during the day.  You would think that in all the years that we have attempted to domesticate them they would have evolved a little.  
My hoooman is currently being trained - we allow her to go to sleep just before midnight and then wake her at a random time between two and four in the morning.   But hooomans are pretty stupid animals and it is going to take years to train this one.

This is very cute looking kitten - Merlin and I were never as small as that.

This is another of my cousins.  Cousin Cyril may need a  machine gun but this is Cousin Nigel .
Thankfully we have never met.

All of us are Tigers at heart.  Look at the gnashers on cousin Cedric.

So next time you see a cute little kitten remember Cousin Nigel and Cousin Cedric.
Come to think of it my sister Merlin is pretty darn scary too.

She only looks innocent - you should see the size of her big , hairy paws.  She can punch me into orbit without any effort.  And she knows how to use her claws.  

I am off to train hoooman further on the concept of feeding on demand.
Frankie de Tom Cat